WRITINGS OF 5AM HOUSTON, 1829
141
time but that I can not deny to myself the pleasure of tendering to you my heartfelt acknowledgement for you kind favor, which reached me, when I was barely able to peruse its contents. It was a cordial to my spirits, and cheered me in my sickness. From the course which I had pursued in relation to the cause of my abando [n]ment of society, my absolute refusal to gratify the inquiring world, my entire silence, because it comported, with my notions of honor, and a willingness to sacrifice myself, rather than do violence to my principles, I had a right to suppose that, the world would acquiesce in the sacrifice, nor could I of right claim of you, a departure from what I supposed the general in- fluence of my destiny. You have acted upon the great scale which prescribes no limits to true greatness, but boundless benevolence, and universal philanthropy. Had a scepter been dashed at my feet, it would not have afforded the same pleasure, which I de- rived from the proud consciousness, not only that I d€served, but that I possessed your conficlence! The elevation of your Station, and your renown, which could acquire no additional lustre from official distinction, contrasted with that of a man, who had ceased to be all that he ever had beE:n, in the worlds eye; was such as would have justified you, in any inference, the most damning, to his character, and prejudicial to his integrity of heart! You dis- regarded the standard calculations of mankind, and acted from an impulse, peculiar to yourself! The solicitude which you have so kindly manifested, for my future welfare cannot fail to inspire me with a proper sense of additional obligations to you. To become a missionary among the Indians, is rendered impossible, for a want of that Evangelical change of heart, so absolutely necessary, to a man who assumes the all important character, of proclaiming to a lost world, the mediation of a blessed Savior! To meliorate the condition of the Indians, to suggest improvements to their growing institutions, to prevent fraud, and peculation, on part of the Governments Agents among them,, and to direct the feelings of the Indians in kindness to the Government, and inspire them with confidence in its justice, and magnanimity towards the Red People; have been objects of my constant solicitude, and attention, since I have been among them ! Your suggestion on the subject of my location in Arkansas has received my serious attention, and I have concluded, that it would not be best for me to adopt the course. In that Territory there is no field for distinction- it is fraught with factions,· and if my
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