official relation, which I stood to himself & Llw army, all being harriers, scarcely authorised my absence l responded, thy will be done, but my declaration of preference is made he stood silent for a moment then replyed promptly, sir you shall go, since tis your wish, but remember, its no imperative order of mine, at the same, time, turning & walking to his marquee, for the purpose of preparing the necessary despatches, I returned the official avoca- tions of my office, the balance of the day was extremely dull & monotinous. MORNING. This morning's, sun, summoned me, to the pcrformance of that duty, so formiddable-to all, and so contradictory to the constant expostulations & protestations of my nearest & best friends - this only. added, fewcll, to the new, born, veal, [sic] of my enthusiastic patriotism, too deeply rooted for the shallow importunities of others, to swerve one jot or tittle from my inflexible course, the Gen soon apperad, in person, with papers in hand, which were necessary for my personal safety, and the eye of Gen Fillosola, Gen Rusk, myself & escorts, mounted our horses, l bid adiew to my associates & in a few minutes was out of sight of camp. The Gen rode with me a few miles, for the purpose of giving me the necessary instructions, he then, left me, to the performance of my duty & to, the mercy of god, I had but one companion at that, time, Thomas Y. Beaufort a decissive, daring, youth of Georgia invincible, in war, inflexible in opinion when right, and immutable, in pretended, friendship. l was ordered to halt, with Col. Sherman's detachment at which time & place, I was to select, as many men, as I conceived to be necessary. I then bid adieu to all, with doubting anticipations, whether 1 should fall a Martyr to the Mighty cause of liberty, or return with triumphant laurels, to revert to in after ages, or as a passport for me when accusations fraught with stemlous patriotism, should be alleged, whether Justice bade it, or the origin & dictates of a vindictive angry accusor l arived at head quarter of Col Shermans detachment on the Colorado inspired with feelings of the most sanguinary nature; here 1 dismised a young man from my party who had previously volunteered his services he knew too much of the Mexican character and had too many mexican personal acquaintances in Filissola Camp for me to place that confidence in him which is due to one in his capacity consequently he was discharged I then selected Capt Karnes ever obsequious to the call of his countrys good, and ever ready to go where glory awates him, we spent the balance of the day in discusing the policy of our Micion, as it was all most imposible for us to proceede owning to
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