[3235] [REDD ACCOUNT]
[i\lay? 1836 J No. l 1836
MORNING
I was aroused from my slumber by by the old revilee which is farmiliar to the soldier of the present clay l returned to the deliberation of a subject, which, I believe had been dispassionately & maturely, digested within my own mind, I had determined to communicate my own views lo Gen Rusk our commanding officer, I did, so, stating to him, the propriety & good effects from an immediate interview, with Gen. Phiosoli, who commanded the army of operations against us, Gen Rusk readily perceived & predicted its orriginal good but feelt too sensibly - the responsibility devolving upon himself to jeopardize the life of any individual so far, as lo imperatively order him to bear any express lo Gen. Philosola,. He would not, assumd this responsibility, or authority as the individual would be critically circumstanscd, as Gen Wool, (a i\lexican General) had been detained who had introduced himself in our camp, under precisely the same circumstances, & found, [thalj which the individual, who might visit the encmys camp would have to experience I then askd Gen Rusk if his responsibility for the individual, was the only preventative, he intimated it was I then left him, At that moment, a thousand reflections shot like Electricity through my agitated mind, as I walked to my marguee, I looked to the supreme ruler of the universe, the dictator of alJ, good and evil, and tacity asked his kind protection in this the most perolous act of my youthful life, for a moment I faltered in my youthful intentions for danger, stood errect, in the broad sunshine of my path, I threw down these reflections, maned myself my resolution was fixed, half an hour had not passed, eer, I reported myself to the Gen. and, said I would bear the communication, or despatch just spoken of, to Philsola at head quarters of the mexican army, my youthful ambition, Philanthropry, and patriotic enthusiasm prompted me lo act that I knew, no one else had dared lo do, and if promplly exicutecl would crown, my covetious brow, with laurels, if nol so to the world, the tacit coi1sciousness of having done, the good act, would carry a sufficient recompense along with ii, in after days, even to the grave, The Gen. here cquivocalerl, spoke of his personal friendship, for me, and the probability of my delcnlion, and tht'
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