1204
AMERICAN HISTORICAL ASSOCIATION.
their gra.nts could be made, and thus the colonization law itself and the authority vested in me under that law holds me up as a public Mark to be shot at by every one. If a person gets a League he knows that more could have been granted and he is therefore dissatisfied and instead of thanking me for what he gets, abuses me for treat- ing him unjustly because he does not get more-In this State of things all who approached me as friends and o:ffer 4 advice, were interested advisors. precidents were established by the power that controled me contrary to my wish and judgement, and those preci- dents were sufficient to involve me in endless difficulty-for example in the case of Groce the Political chief of the Province himself whose orders I [am] bound to obey designated ten leagues as the smallest quantity that he ought to have, this produced general dissatisfaction, every man in his own conception was as much entitled to ten leagues as Groce, and because he did not get it, I was abused-but it was not my fault, and had I given Groce less and treated the wishes of the Political Chief with contempt or disrespect and soured his mind would it have benefitd the gen• interests of the Settlement any1 I was in his power and subject to his orders and my fate and that of the Colony were linked together and could not be sepamted-had I managed so as to loose the confidence of the officers of the Govt embarrassment might have been thrown in the way by them that could have destroyed the settlement-Another difficulty that I have had to contend with is that my temper is naturally rather hasty and impetuous-the good of the Settlement required that I should control it and disregard the iddle slander of those who abused me from malice, from misconception, or from interested views-for one rash act in a moment of passion in my cituation might have jeopardised the welfare of many-also my disposition as I have when too late discovered is confidential unsuspicious and accomodating to a fault and therefore open to impositions-it is said by philoso- phers that he is a wise man who knows himself and he who governs himself is certainly still wiser-few such men appear in this world I am not one of those and never expect to be-my temper has met many tryals and knowing it as I think I do I give myself some credit for governing it as well as I have, tho my· friends have blamed me for being too mild. I may have err 4 on that extreme for fear of falling on the opposite one, but I deem 4 it the safe side to err on and I still think so considering the temper and dispositions of the people with whom I had to deal for among the ignorant part of the Americans indipendence means resistance and obstinacy right or wrong-this is particularly the case with frontiersmen-a violent course with such dispositions might have kindled a flame that would have destroyed them and the settlement entirely.
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