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THE AUSTIN PAPERS
situation of things in Texas, to avoid disappointment and discontent when they reached there. In all my acts and conversations while in the U. S. I endeavored to be very cautions in holding out high or exaggerated induce- ments of immediate profit, or personal comforts to volunteers- I con- sidered it to be a matter of consciencious duty to do so, in order not to excite expectations-which I hi;td no doubts would not be fully realized- ! recollect that I was asked some where (either at Louisville or Lexington I believe) whether volunteers would receive league tracts of land, besides their bounty, and that I replyed, I had no instructions or authority as com- missioner, to promise any thing of the kind, which was the fact- my uni- form rule has been to state / acts the plain truth so far as I was informed, and to try and operate upon the judgement and the sound moral principles of the heart rather than upon the passions, or any momentary excitement or a mere passing enthusiasm, which, altho wild and unbounded for a time. too often ends in the oposite extreme of disappointment, disgust and e\'en hostility- I have [been] censured for pursuing this course I feel I should have deserved censure, had I pursued a different one, for besides the evils that would result to the volunteers themselves from too sanguine hopes, those which this country would suffer from a large body of disap- pointed and enraged men, would be incalculable as what has already trans- pired on a small scale has sufficiently demonstrated- such evils in fact are more to he dreaded [than] our common enemy I have also been told I have been accused of not treating our Lexington friends with sufficient attention etc- This has mortified me very much for I do not merit it- I have no house, not a roof in all Texas, that I can call my own- The only one I had was burnt at San Felipe during the late invasion of the enemy, I make my home where the business of the country calls me There is none here at the farm of my brother in law who only began to open this place three years ago, and is still in the primitive log cabbins and wild shrubbery of the forest- I have no farm, no cotton plantation, no income, no money, no comforts--- I have spent the prime of my life and worn out my con- stitution in trying to colonize this country. Many persons boast of their 300 and 400 leagues acquired by speculation without personal labor or the- sacrifice of years or even days, I shall be content to save twenty leagues or about nineteen [ninety J thousand acres, acquired very hard and very dear indeed. All my wealth is prospective and contingent upon the events of the future, . what I have been able from time to time to realise in active means, has gone as fast as realised, and much faster (for I am still in debt for the expences of my trip to Mexico in 1833-34 and 35) where my health and strength and time have gone, which is in the service of Texas and I am therefore not ashamed of my present poverty. In this situation what atten- tions could I have offered to any one? I only saw Capt. PosletJ1waite for
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