THE AUSTIN PAPEBS 1025 is nll, and this is no crime. But should it be considered otherwiim, it will not take me by surprise. Ever since I returned from Bexar a year ago last Deer and found the Convention called in my absence, I have consider'd myself as suspended over the altar of sacrifice. 'fhnt measure placed me in .an awkward position. It compromised me in the highest degree with the people and authorities of Bexar, on the one hand, and with my friends at San Felipe on the other. for altho I had agreed to the calling of a convention before I went to Bexar, I did not expect it would have been done in my abseuce. I went ther·e to consult with the authorities of that place. I con- sidered that ,,ery great respect and deference wns justly due to them ns native Mexicans, as the capital of Texas, and as the oldest and· most populous town in the country. And I lmew the importance of getting them to take the lead in all the politics of Texas, besides this, I was •personally attached to those people as a sincere friend and wished to act in concert with them. I wished the conventi.on to meet in Bexar, but at that time it was.death to any man's popu- larity to speak in favor of the Mexicans. These things are all pased and had best be forgotten_:._probably I have no just cause to blame any one but myself for in some things that occured then I was a mere passive actor, when I ought to have been a firm and unbending director. :My object was to smother the party spirit e.nd violent and ruinous divisions which I saw brewing in the colony; and as my friendship for the Mexicans and opposition to violent measures was to have been used by my enemies, (who were in fact also the only real enemies to Texas) as the kindling materials, the oil and brimstone to set the £la.me of discord and confusion ablnzing, I thought it best to deprive them of the kindling matter by a passive com-se. I mistook the means and ·committed a great error, but I have learned this lesson in ,p~litics, that there is no medium with envy and party spirit, between ·victory and defeat. I was always in favor of the State question, but I feared, especially after my trip to Bexar, that it would not succeed unless the people of that place took the lead, and it was arranged for them to do so.·· The representation and remonstrance of 19 Deer. was the first step, and would have led to all the others, and Texas by this time would have been a State or nearly so, .and the discord that I fear has arisen between Bexar and a part of Texas would have been avoided. All was defeated and ·cleranaed and Bexar was offended and turned against a measure that it wa~ in favor of. So much for party spirit and envy, or rather for opposition to Austin because he was Austin- he, must be suspected and watched-he, who hns labored so_ many years regardless of personal fatigue or responsability to bwld up
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